One way street

The golden years. The years of free living. You got it made years. Continuous vacation years. Words that describe retirement. One statement that missed, One way street. This is the true definition of retirement. And only you have to blame, or praise, for your good and bad judgements. 

The last day of work you never forget. Party, everyone wishing you well. They envy you. You have all the time in the world. The first month or two is a party for you. You come by and visit for a few minutes. But after a while they start to think, Don’t he have a life? Actually the first few months you don’t have a life. You feel self conscious of visiting. You feel pathetic and lonely. But like death they let you go and move on. And you have to do the same. Yes visit them once in a while. Now you limit once a month.  You dread the thought of not seeing them more often. But it was your choice. And you need to live with that decision. And then it does not help when your love of your life still works. And he or she works in the place where you retired from. She tells you who she saw. And you ask if they ask about you. At first they do. But then you fade away from their memory. It hurts. But what do you expect. They are young. And have their own lives to live.  So you realize that you too must move on. It is very sad.  You have to reinvent yourself. Make a new life. And if you are homesick, thank God for Facebook. This make it easier for the loneliness. But again you are sadden. You are no more part of their lives. And they are no more a part of yours.

This is where you have to be careful. You have a fork on the road. Which do you take. One is vegetating and boredom. Sitting around. In your PJs all day. And then before your wife comes home you take a bath and get into fresh clothes. Thank God for wives. At this age they keep their spouses alive.  Still depression sets in. And always you drop into that void of a hole. Who did you see today? Did they ask about me? And you smile as if everything is alright. You act happy. But you are starting to see that your life is meaningless. Yes you do a lot at home. You make sure you complete a goal a day. But it is still not easy. Yes you have family. Yes you have long distance friends. And you know you can visit them. Then the novelty goes away. How much traveling can you do? You may own your company. But you don’t want to visit them too often. It’s now the CEO’s company. You may be the owner. But the day to day business is theirs. 

So reinventing yourself. This is the other fork in the road. This is the healthy way. But again not easy. You don’t want to start another business. You want as little overhead as you can start a new life. It is not only for the money. But to keep your sanity. You don’t go back to work. You are not going to fit in. But there are a lot of lifestyles to reinventing yourself. Online technologies have made it possible and easier to reinvent yourself.

You have a lot of possibilities. One for sure thing is teaching online will be a part of your life. Self help programs. How to programs. A good example is  I was writing computer programs in the 80’s and 90’s. Building spreadsheets for companies. So teaching will be a big time of our life.

But you do have to admit. There is no going back. Not only must you  improve your life mentally and physically, but also spiritually. This is a one way street. Two thirds of your life is over. You have no idea how long my last third will last. But you must not waste it. The first two months has been a non-directional life. A roller coaster. A waste. The celebration is over. And what you see ahead is a tombstone. But what you have in between is what you will make of your closing of this life. And prepare yourself for that transition. 

You are on your own. It won’t be easy. Yes you will have people that care. People to talk to. People that can guide you. But you alone are the only one to make the life you have left a fulfilling one. 

Live for the day.

The thankless profession. The legacy of a nurse.

For weeks this picture has stuck in my mind. Inspiring. Not because the individuals, Indi, Carla, and Sarah. But because they represent the most critical part of the hospital. They are the most important people in all hospitals.

The most loved and appreciated is represented by Carla, in the center of the picture. The paramedic. Sweet, patients love them. They take the blood. They comfort them. Always with a smile.
The most needed at the moment is represented by Indi on the right of Carla. The PCA. The traffic cop of the hospital. They guide the patient and their families. They make sense of the sometimes catastrophes.

And last, represented by Sarah, the Nurse in the background, selfless. They are the most important part of the hospital. Doctors don’t want to admit it. Even more important than they are. The unappreciated and underpaid; the most blamed; yet without them, documentation would not exist. The caring, the distribution of meds, the controlling of uncontrollable situations would be be a major problem. These are the unsung heroes. They absorb the brunt of abuse by patients, family members, supervisors, and co-workers. And you don’t hear a sound about their state of mind and body. The only thing you hear is how they can help that patient and their family.

This picture could be a billboard on a movie. Or a cover to a book. But the positions that the poses are in this picture are so real in the life of a hospital. So inspiring. And the poses were not planned. It was as if God painted this picture as it should be.
Good night my friends. Good night and sweet dreams to those who gives their lives to the sick and injured. Even to the dying. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

**I would like to thank the person who took the picture. Most inspiring.

The games adults play

Sometimes I wonder why we need soldiers. Civilians who have never experience war, or even the atrocities of war are more than capable of waging it without mercy. They seem to have no problem in burying their close friend to survive. They have no idea what it is to kill another human being. They have no idea what is meant to face your death. They have no idea that after those battles, firefights, and killing individuals never escapes you. No matter how much you try to blot out those memories they popup in your dreams. And are magnified into nightmares. And the only time you sleep is when are so exhausted you can’t help but doze off. And you pray those terrible thoughts don’t appear. You welcome the thought of death so that you hurt no one. Especially the ones you love.

You wonder what these people are thinking who never experiene war can enjoy the suffering others. And when this happens you wonder how hate can be so much fun. I’d rather die by the bullet than be a part of the cancer of hatred for each other permiates the body.

Life is so sacred. I cry inside when I see cruelty in the hearts of the ignorance of war. Physical suffering means nothing. Death I welcome before i willfully hurt another human being.

Sometimes I wonder was it worth the destruction of my well being, of my family, and of my self.

I pray that  you will never want to die to escape your private hell.

I can only have faith in God to keep  me sane and at peace.

I pray for God’s mercy and grace.

Intelligence of two natures

Yesterday I finished my three days of contributing myself to the betterment of others. And in all these days I always learn something.

Intelligence, I always knew I had. But it is not of natural abilities. Learned abilities. Something that needs to be cultivated all the time or it will be lost. But yesterday I found a more incredible type of intelligence. One that comes from the heart. Natural intelligence. On that is inherited from the gods.

A young nurse who is so flamboyant that she could levetate you to the top of buildings. Sometimes I fear she may think that I am after her for illicit means. Not in the world. I see innocence and purity. I see beauty in the heart. She sings her way from patient to patient. Always with a smile. And always have solutions out of this world. She comes up with homemade baby food to everyone or a new way to make a drink or keep your sanity with children.

I told her yesterday that I will miss them when I am gone. The clinical manager with his sarcastic sense of humor. We all love him. To her ray of sunshine.

This is natural intelligence. Never having to think of some inventive idea. Just come out of thin air. People like this is has a gift. A gift  to bring happiness to all.

A ray of sunshine. I will miss all of you when I go on my new adventures.  But the three years I have endured at West, some incredibly  good, some terribly bad, I will cherish where ever I am in the world.

I am blessed by the place I thought it would be so mundane ended up as a gift from God.

Thank you West for all the joyful moments I experienced. Whether they be sad or happy there are no regrets.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

My way of life. Enjoy every minute

Every Friday through Sunday my body is not mine. It belongs to a great team. A team that expects you not to take a breather. A team that you keep pushing and pressing every minute. Never giving up. Never thinking of yourself. Always thinking out of the box. Thinking about the unpredictability of the events facing you. And anticipating the unexpected.

Being tireless and never letting your fellow teammates know of your own pains. Keeping a smile. Continue motivating others while people in authority of your own team tries knocking you down. And you not letting any selfish in your face put you down. Show them that you are not affected by their small mind of delusions of grandeur.

This enduring weekend event demands more every time you go out their knowing that your support is their. And some of your team is making sure you don’t get the credit. But still you are bigger than them.That is what makes it worth your efforts.

So the next time your manager or head coach either knocks you down or takes the credit away from you to give to their cronies and undeserving, just remember who you are doing all this for. For the people you serve and yourself. Be proud of yourself. And stand up to all those with great pride. And look at those straight into their eyes. And say I am the best. And I don’t have to shout it out. Just perform your best.


Actions speaks louder than word. Are you talk the talk? Or walk the walk?

Weak leadership

Weak leadership does not always means heads of states. It also means as low as a supervisor on a shift. A weak leadership can be seen by the amount of chaos surrounding every facet of life. Today everywhere the world is out of control. And leaders are speaking loud. But no muscle behind their words.

So when you see disasters after disasters look toward your leaders. And see what they are saying. And when you feel like their words have no meaning. Or they are sitting back and hoping it goes away. Remember in the next election what was done. When our leaders can not control the situation we must take responsibility to stabilize the situations. We must take it upon ourselves to stand up and take control. By learning what not to place in office next time.

We must follow what Kennedy said in his inauguration. “Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.”

Weak leaders become very powerful when the people become the spectators. By your actions you can control your leaders.

Think hard. Your world is crumbling beneath you.

What does retirement mean to me?

Retirement, is as big of a word as the big C, Cancer. The big R. Retirement, unlimited free time. You have to make wise decisions. Do you want to spend your time valuably? Or waste the rest of your lives? That is easy to do.

The first year I went aimlessly wasting my time. After a year of aimlessness I decided to make a different type of life. I got a part time job for the weekends. And weekdays are free.

I value my free time more than ever that I am in a very mundane job. Thank God I am not young and depending on this job. I am sadden by their euphoria. Such a waste of life.

But even this mundane job I learn to make the most. I learn to make an adventure and make each day personal.

And this is what you have to do with your free time. Make the most of what you have. Each day create an adventure. Even the smallest adventure is a new event in your life.

Life can be exciting without having a grandiose time. Every small facet can make a difference.

Live for the day. Don’t waste your life with unnecessary drama. And don’t waste your time with people who waste their time creating drama.

So retirement, as exciting and as good as you want it to be.

Make it happen.

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