Subliminal Bulling 

Online bulling is a cancer that is spreading. And it is not always detectable. Bulling has evolved into many forms.

The most popular is direct bulling. You attack someone and sometimes stoppable. Then we have a new one that I have given the name Subliminal Bulling. Even sometimes the victim can’t even detect it. And it can come from a supposed friend. The biggest fertile ground is Social Media.  No fault of social media.  If the victim can’t detect it surely Social Media will not either.

What is the source? Quotes. Not saying all quotes. But a lot. Positive quotes are used as weapons to needle the victim. Sometimes the bully is envious. And first they have verbally hinted that they question integrity or even find you different. Ignore, easier than said.. The bully can’t call them out because they know it is probably not true what they are accusing. And you don’t want to put yourself in jeopardy in your work. So they  resort to quotes. From all different philosophers. And then they send it to their friends and try to hint who it is aimed at. 

How do you defend yourself? You don’t. You take preventative action of being nice. While you are nice you keep your eyes open and look at this person’s background. Not by background check but who are his or her friends. Are they negative? Do they feel they are overlooked by Mr Nice guy. Are they gossipers. Are they covert in their bending of the rules. In other words are they living in a glass house.  Maybe feeling they are low on the caste system. And always feel they are look down. The only alternative is to  bring down and destroying others. And finally they have a gang mentality. Most will find that good people who follows the law and do the right thing are their enemies. 

So next time you see a quote, before you like it, make sure that this person you know does not have an ulterior motive. To hurt someone. Because the next target or victim could be you. 

Read into the quote. Quotes like the Bible can be turned into a weapon to get you power over others. When you press like you might be hurting the victim. And not realizing the damage you are doing to maybe your best friend. Always qualify what people are presenting. 

Remember, a bully is only as strong as you make him or her. They feed off other’s affirmations.

Quiet

Today is a day of rest. To contemplate the past. To live the present. And to hope for the future. 
And to make a better future, free of hate and turmoil. And to do that is to stop vengeance and strife now so that we can live in peace in the future. 

Let us raise ourselves to a higher plain. And rid ourselves of petty indulgence. Let us not believe everything that comes out of the loudest mouths. And start listening to the quietness of the soul. 
Only the pure of heart will prevail. Walk lightly among the people. Then they will follow serenity.
Have a wonderful day.

Porkchop coming home

Tom: on the 5.

Maria: Yeah.

Tom: Porkchop coming home.

Friends, classmates, and co-workers play an important role in peoples lives. It plays a great part in my life. Sometimes it can be lonely around without your friends being there. But in the end who is there when you come home for the night? Who is by your side when falling asleep? Who is there when you receive from your doctor that you have cancer? Who is there when a family member is far away and you receive the news that they had died? A friend? A classmate? A co-worker? No. It is always a family member. A spouse, a husband, a wife, a life partner, a parent.

So when you say to your spouse who is sitting at home I going after work for some drinks with some friends, some co-workers, some classmates think hard. That spouse, that parent is sitting at home waiting for you. When you are in trouble or receive bad news will your friends be home or partying while you are crying? Or will your family as always will be there.

Just remember who will be there.

On the last night you lay your head down and close your eyes for the last time will be your spouse holding your hand tight. Never wanting to let go. And as you go to sleep for the last time your spouse will lean down and whisper, Porkchop finally you are going home my love. I love you.

Porkchop coming home

Tom: on the 5

Maria: Yeah

Tom: Porkchop coming home.
Friends, classmates, and co-workers play an important role in peoples lives. It plays a great part in my life. Sometimes it can be lonely around without your friends being there. But in the end who is there when you come home for the night? Who is by your side when falling asleep? Who is there when you receive from your doctor that you have cancer? Who is there when a family member is far away and you receive the news that they had died? A friend? A classmate? A co-worker? No. It is always a family member. A spouse, a husband, a wife, a life partner, a parent.

So when you say to your spouse who is sitting at home I going after work for some drinks with some friends, some co-workers, some classmates think hard. That spouse, that parent is sitting at home waiting for you. When you are in trouble or receive bad news will your friends be home or partying while you are crying? Or will your family as always will be there.

Just remember who will be there.

On the last night you lay your head down and close your eyes for the last time will be your spouse holding your hand tight. Never wanting to let go. And as you go to sleep for the last time your spouse will lean down and whisper, Porkchop finally you are going home my love. I love you.

One way street

The golden years. The years of free living. You got it made years. Continuous vacation years. Words that describe retirement. One statement that missed, One way street. This is the true definition of retirement. And only you have to blame, or praise, for your good and bad judgements. 

The last day of work you never forget. Party, everyone wishing you well. They envy you. You have all the time in the world. The first month or two is a party for you. You come by and visit for a few minutes. But after a while they start to think, Don’t he have a life? Actually the first few months you don’t have a life. You feel self conscious of visiting. You feel pathetic and lonely. But like death they let you go and move on. And you have to do the same. Yes visit them once in a while. Now you limit once a month.  You dread the thought of not seeing them more often. But it was your choice. And you need to live with that decision. And then it does not help when your love of your life still works. And he or she works in the place where you retired from. She tells you who she saw. And you ask if they ask about you. At first they do. But then you fade away from their memory. It hurts. But what do you expect. They are young. And have their own lives to live.  So you realize that you too must move on. It is very sad.  You have to reinvent yourself. Make a new life. And if you are homesick, thank God for Facebook. This make it easier for the loneliness. But again you are sadden. You are no more part of their lives. And they are no more a part of yours.

This is where you have to be careful. You have a fork on the road. Which do you take. One is vegetating and boredom. Sitting around. In your PJs all day. And then before your wife comes home you take a bath and get into fresh clothes. Thank God for wives. At this age they keep their spouses alive.  Still depression sets in. And always you drop into that void of a hole. Who did you see today? Did they ask about me? And you smile as if everything is alright. You act happy. But you are starting to see that your life is meaningless. Yes you do a lot at home. You make sure you complete a goal a day. But it is still not easy. Yes you have family. Yes you have long distance friends. And you know you can visit them. Then the novelty goes away. How much traveling can you do? You may own your company. But you don’t want to visit them too often. It’s now the CEO’s company. You may be the owner. But the day to day business is theirs. 

So reinventing yourself. This is the other fork in the road. This is the healthy way. But again not easy. You don’t want to start another business. You want as little overhead as you can start a new life. It is not only for the money. But to keep your sanity. You don’t go back to work. You are not going to fit in. But there are a lot of lifestyles to reinventing yourself. Online technologies have made it possible and easier to reinvent yourself.

You have a lot of possibilities. One for sure thing is teaching online will be a part of your life. Self help programs. How to programs. A good example is  I was writing computer programs in the 80’s and 90’s. Building spreadsheets for companies. So teaching will be a big time of our life.

But you do have to admit. There is no going back. Not only must you  improve your life mentally and physically, but also spiritually. This is a one way street. Two thirds of your life is over. You have no idea how long my last third will last. But you must not waste it. The first two months has been a non-directional life. A roller coaster. A waste. The celebration is over. And what you see ahead is a tombstone. But what you have in between is what you will make of your closing of this life. And prepare yourself for that transition. 

You are on your own. It won’t be easy. Yes you will have people that care. People to talk to. People that can guide you. But you alone are the only one to make the life you have left a fulfilling one. 

Live for the day.

The thankless profession. The legacy of a nurse.

For weeks this picture has stuck in my mind. Inspiring. Not because the individuals, Indi, Carla, and Sarah. But because they represent the most critical part of the hospital. They are the most important people in all hospitals.

The most loved and appreciated is represented by Carla, in the center of the picture. The paramedic. Sweet, patients love them. They take the blood. They comfort them. Always with a smile.
The most needed at the moment is represented by Indi on the right of Carla. The PCA. The traffic cop of the hospital. They guide the patient and their families. They make sense of the sometimes catastrophes.

And last, represented by Sarah, the Nurse in the background, selfless. They are the most important part of the hospital. Doctors don’t want to admit it. Even more important than they are. The unappreciated and underpaid; the most blamed; yet without them, documentation would not exist. The caring, the distribution of meds, the controlling of uncontrollable situations would be be a major problem. These are the unsung heroes. They absorb the brunt of abuse by patients, family members, supervisors, and co-workers. And you don’t hear a sound about their state of mind and body. The only thing you hear is how they can help that patient and their family.

This picture could be a billboard on a movie. Or a cover to a book. But the positions that the poses are in this picture are so real in the life of a hospital. So inspiring. And the poses were not planned. It was as if God painted this picture as it should be.
Good night my friends. Good night and sweet dreams to those who gives their lives to the sick and injured. Even to the dying. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

**I would like to thank the person who took the picture. Most inspiring.

The games adults play

Sometimes I wonder why we need soldiers. Civilians who have never experience war, or even the atrocities of war are more than capable of waging it without mercy. They seem to have no problem in burying their close friend to survive. They have no idea what it is to kill another human being. They have no idea what is meant to face your death. They have no idea that after those battles, firefights, and killing individuals never escapes you. No matter how much you try to blot out those memories they popup in your dreams. And are magnified into nightmares. And the only time you sleep is when are so exhausted you can’t help but doze off. And you pray those terrible thoughts don’t appear. You welcome the thought of death so that you hurt no one. Especially the ones you love.

You wonder what these people are thinking who never experiene war can enjoy the suffering others. And when this happens you wonder how hate can be so much fun. I’d rather die by the bullet than be a part of the cancer of hatred for each other permiates the body.

Life is so sacred. I cry inside when I see cruelty in the hearts of the ignorance of war. Physical suffering means nothing. Death I welcome before i willfully hurt another human being.

Sometimes I wonder was it worth the destruction of my well being, of my family, and of my self.

I pray that  you will never want to die to escape your private hell.

I can only have faith in God to keep  me sane and at peace.

I pray for God’s mercy and grace.