Sometimes I wonder why we need soldiers. Civilians who have never experience war, or even the atrocities of war are more than capable of waging it without mercy. They seem to have no problem in burying their close friend to survive. They have no idea what it is to kill another human being. They have no idea what is meant to face your death. They have no idea that after those battles, firefights, and killing individuals never escapes you. No matter how much you try to blot out those memories they popup in your dreams. And are magnified into nightmares. And the only time you sleep is when are so exhausted you can’t help but doze off. And you pray those terrible thoughts don’t appear. You welcome the thought of death so that you hurt no one. Especially the ones you love.
You wonder what these people are thinking who never experiene war can enjoy the suffering others. And when this happens you wonder how hate can be so much fun. I’d rather die by the bullet than be a part of the cancer of hatred for each other permiates the body.
Life is so sacred. I cry inside when I see cruelty in the hearts of the ignorance of war. Physical suffering means nothing. Death I welcome before i willfully hurt another human being.
Sometimes I wonder was it worth the destruction of my well being, of my family, and of my self.
I pray that you will never want to die to escape your private hell.
I can only have faith in God to keep me sane and at peace.
I pray for God’s mercy and grace.