Sometimes I wonder why we need soldiers. Civilians who have never experience war, or even the atrocities of war are more than capable of waging it without mercy. They seem to have no problem in burying their close friend to survive. They have no idea what it is to kill another human being. They have no idea what is meant to face your death. They have no idea that after those battles, firefights, and killing individuals never escapes you. No matter how much you try to blot out those memories they popup in your dreams. And are magnified into nightmares. And the only time you sleep is when are so exhausted you can’t help but doze off. And you pray those terrible thoughts don’t appear. You welcome the thought of death so that you hurt no one. Especially the ones you love.
You wonder what these people are thinking who never experiene war can enjoy the suffering others. And when this happens you wonder how hate can be so much fun. I’d rather die by the bullet than be a part of the cancer of hatred for each other permiates the body.
Life is so sacred. I cry inside when I see cruelty in the hearts of the ignorance of war. Physical suffering means nothing. Death I welcome before i willfully hurt another human being.
Sometimes I wonder was it worth the destruction of my well being, of my family, and of my self.
I pray that you will never want to die to escape your private hell.
I can only have faith in God to keep me sane and at peace.
I pray for God’s mercy and grace.
Yesterday I finished my three days of contributing myself to the betterment of others. And in all these days I always learn something.
Intelligence, I always knew I had. But it is not of natural abilities. Learned abilities. Something that needs to be cultivated all the time or it will be lost. But yesterday I found a more incredible type of intelligence. One that comes from the heart. Natural intelligence. On that is inherited from the gods.
A young nurse who is so flamboyant that she could levetate you to the top of buildings. Sometimes I fear she may think that I am after her for illicit means. Not in the world. I see innocence and purity. I see beauty in the heart. She sings her way from patient to patient. Always with a smile. And always have solutions out of this world. She comes up with homemade baby food to everyone or a new way to make a drink or keep your sanity with children.
I told her yesterday that I will miss them when I am gone. The clinical manager with his sarcastic sense of humor. We all love him. To her ray of sunshine.
This is natural intelligence. Never having to think of some inventive idea. Just come out of thin air. People like this is has a gift. A gift to bring happiness to all.
A ray of sunshine. I will miss all of you when I go on my new adventures. But the three years I have endured at West, some incredibly good, some terribly bad, I will cherish where ever I am in the world.
I am blessed by the place I thought it would be so mundane ended up as a gift from God.
Thank you West for all the joyful moments I experienced. Whether they be sad or happy there are no regrets.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.